========================================================= "I Remember, I Remember The Wondrous Woodstock Fair" by Frank Jacobs (from MAD Magazine, April 1970, p. 24-25) ========================================================= I remember, I remember The wondrous Woodstock Fair; In August,'69, it was, And all the Heads were there; Four hundred thousand made the trip, So Walter Cronkite says. To groove the Who, the Grateful Dead, Canned Heat, and Joan Baez! I remember, I remember, The traffic unforseen That clogged the lanes for countless miles On Highway 17; And even while I write this verse I fear there is no doubt That many drivers still are there Attempting to get out! I remember, I remember, That groovy, swinging scene, That field of wheat that soon became An open-air latrine; And how it warmed our happy hearts And filled us with good cheer To know the farmer wouldn't need To buy manure next year! I remember, I remember, The way my nights were spent; The pleasure when I bedded down Inside my little tent; And how I found, on waking up, That all men were my brothers; That I'd been joined throughout the night By forty-seven other! I remember, I remember, That bleary, bombed-out mass That wandered 'round the countryside Freaked out on hash and grass; Not all of them, I wish to say, Possessed a glassy stare; A few, in fact, could still recall The reason they were there! I remember, I remember, That cataclysmic flood Of rain that tumbled from the sky And turned the Fair to mud; And how the crowd threw off its clothes And mingled in the bare, Until the place looked something like The final scene from "Hair!" I remember, I remember, The wondrous Woodstock Fair; But wait -- I haven't told you of The rock that I heard there; I'd really like to fill you in, But much to my dismay, The closest that I got to it Was seven miles away!