"Do I need to join  Carolyn's Clinic S@H Team?"

In this era of self-help, we have decided to offer our proven on-line self-diagnostic test which will allow you to determine if you are suffering from any of the following S@H related problems. 

dull, brooding, needful of affection, suffering from lassitude or malaise, somatic, inhibiting your aggressiveness, amoral, imperturbable, having persecutory ideas, poignant, naive, alienated from yourself, having bizarre sensory experiences, or something worse.

As the first step of the process of analyzing oneself, it is necessary to take an examination. The results will determine whether you would  benefit from the guidance that our team provides:

You have 5 minutes to complete the following exam:

 

1. When I was younger, I used to tease vegetables.

True  False

2. Sometimes I am unable to prevent clean thoughts from entering my mind.

True  False

3. The sight of blood no longer excites me.

True  False

4. I think beavers work too hard.

True  False

5. It is important to wash your hands before washing your hands.

True  False

6. Recently I have been getting shorter.

True  False

7. When I walk quickly, I can feel my legs moving.

True  False

8. When I was a child, I was an imaginary playmate.

True  False

9. I believe I smell as good as most people.

True  False

10. As a child, I used to wet the ceiling.

True  False

11. I salivate at the sight of mittens.

True  False

12. Sometimes I feel that things are real.

True  False

13. I have many enemies who secretly love me.

True  False

14. I think I would like the work of a robot.

True  False

15. As a youngster, I was suspended from school for attending.

True  False

16. I am liked by most people unless they know me.

True  False

17. I think I would like the work of a hummingbird.

True  False

18. My tongue has been depressed.

True  False

19. It makes me angry to have people bury me.

True  False

20. People tell me one thing one day and out the other.

True  False

21. I am easily awakened by the firing of cannons.

True  False

22. I can wear my shirts as pants.

True  False

23. I feel as much like I did yesterday as I do today.

True  False

24. I always lick the fronts of postage stamps.

True  False

25. When I smile, people apologize.

True  False

26. It is hard for me to say the right thing when I find myself in a room full of mice.

True  False

27. I never liked room temperature.

True  False

28. I line my pockets with hot cheese.

True  False

29.  can smell my nose hairs.

True  False

30. My dog is someone else's best friend.

True  False

31. My toes are numbered.

True  False

32. I like to put chameleons on plaid cloth.

True  False

33. I'd rather go to work than sit outside.

True  False

34. I often use the word "feh".

True  False

35. I never seem to finish whatever I

True  False