Brian and Lisa’s 7^th Heaven Drinking Game

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 For those of you who don't know what 7th Heaven is, its a show on the WB about a family where the father is a Reverend, the mom is a goody two shoes, and the 7 kids are so squeeky clean, it will make you want to vomit (see also:http://homes.acmecity.com/7thheaven/mary/53/camden.htm) . Each episode has a moral, and everyone always does the right thing. Even when they don't do the right thing, they always end up doing the right thing, and realizing how SINFUL what they did was. It's a fun show to watch just to make fun of it, and even more fun to watch when you're drunk (hence, this drinking game). So crack open a cold one, sit bad, and let the sinning begin!

Take one drink every time:

1)      Dramatic music plays.

2)      Matt (the oldest son) rescues one of his siblings from sinning just in the nick of time.

3)      The parents play detective to find out what their kids are up to.

4)      Mary (the oldest daughter) appears in nothing but a towel.

5)      The mom makes a face that makes her look like she’s about to vomit and/or cry.

6)      Someone hangs up the phone without saying goodbye.

7)      Reverend Camden prepares a sermon.

8)      Matt tries to look like a tortured artist.

9)      One of the kids lies to one of the parents.

10) Someone mentions the Promenade.

11) The youngest girl makes a stupid one-liner.

12) Someone meddles in someone else’s business.

13) The family takes in someone to live in their house.

14) Simon acts like a wuss.

15) The twin babies disappear for an entire episode.

16) Someone spies on someone else.

17) The dad says, “Oh, you’re in trouble,” or something to that effect.

18) Mary is holding a basketball.

19) Lucy is putting on make-up.

20) Ruthie is told to brush her teeth.

21) Someone is said to be too young for something.

22) Lucy is obsessing over a boy.

23) Something is “the right thing to do.”

24) The dad interrogates one of his sons’ or daughters’ dates.

25) As soon as you recognize what the moral of the episode is.

26) The dad gets angry at one of the kids for any reason.

27) The mom doesn’t know what’s going on, while the rest of the family does know what’s going on.

28) Someone is in, or mentions going to the diner.

29) The dad goes to see someone to talk to them about something he disapproves of.

30) Every time someone goes to, or talk about going to, the pool hall (where obviously, no one smokes or drinks alcohol)

Take two drinks every time:
      1) A black person is onscreen.

2) An oriental person is onscreen.

3) The family dog appears onscreen.

4) Someone talks about (shhh!) sex.

5) Mary whines.

6) Mary and Lucy fight, either vocally or physically.

7) Someone who is a “bad influence” is shown driving a Mustang, or other evil sports car.

8) Whenever Rev. Camden appears in full reverend costume.

9) The family does something wholesome together.

10) Whenever one of the kids smoke cigarettes. Drink double if two of the kids smoke in the same scene.

11) The dog communicates with the family by barking. Drink twice if the family actually understands what the dog is saying.

Eh, what the hell.  Just do shots, non-stop, over and over again while watching this show until it makes sense.

Copyright 2001, Brian Penzone