The stars streak by like time, Kathryn thought, passing so quickly that they blurred beyond comprehension. You had to stop and look at them from a distance to understand.

Like time. Like the past.

The last month had been almost unbearable. Kathryn had dispatched five shuttles to search the sector for food supplies; they had not been able to replace everything they lost in the Void and the situation was becoming serious. Four of the shuttles returned in a week, three of them with plants and tree cuttings. The fifth shuttle, manned by Chakotay and Seven, seemingly disappeared.

For four weeks, Voyager searched around the clock without success. With each passing day, Kathryn had to fight a little harder to convince herself that the two people she who meant so much to her were still alive. After thirty-two days, though, Kathryn had been about to give up. Then Icheb reported from Astrometrics that he had identified traces of duranium on a small, class-D planetoid some 12 light years away. It was well beyond the parameters of the shuttle's mission, but well within the craft's capability, and duranium was rare enough in this part of the quadrant that it couldn't be a coincidence. She ordered the ship to proceed at maximum speed.

The planetoid was part of an asteroid belt around a yellow giant that was emitting enough electro-magnetic interference to restrict communications and confuse other systems. The best the long range sensors could determine was that it had an atmosphere capable of sustaining human life. There seemed to be little water and minimal life signs of any kind. It would have been a difficult place to survive for a month, Kathryn thought as she studied the data. Very difficult indeed.

Within a few hours they were in communications range. "Janeway to shuttlecraft McAuliffe," she said, her heart pounding in her chest. "Janeway to Chakotay."

"We're here, Captain," Chakotay said, and in an instant she felt ten years younger. There were cheers on the bridge. "And we're damned glad to hear your voice."

"The feeling is mutual, Commander. What happened?"

"We were attacked. Don't know who they were. I went to warp and set us down here to hide. Unfortunately the nacelles were damaged in the attack and we couldn't lift off again."

"Are you and Seven all right?"

Seven's voice. "We are undamaged, Captain."

"We're hungry. And pretty dirty. But we're not hurt."

"We'll beam you to Sickbay anyway. Mr. Paris?"

"Two more hours, Captain."

"We'll see you in two hours."

When the transporter room had confirmed that Chakotay and Seven had been successfully beamed to Sickbay, she hurried to Deck 5, unable to stop herself from grinning. For four immeasurably long weeks, she had worked to convince herself that two people who were very important to her were still alive. When they finally heard Chakotay's voice on the commsystem, she felt at least ten years younger.

She found them sitting on separate biobeds, facing each other. The Doctor was examining Seven, so she went to Chakotay. He was filthy, bearded and gaunt, but his eyes lit up when he saw her.

Then he looked away.

Her mind registered this without analyzing it, and when she touched his arm he looked back again. "Hey," she said softly. "You look pretty good for someone who's been stranded on a ball of rock for a month."

He smiled. "Well, I needed to lose some weight."

"Next time can you try something less drastic? I'm sure the Doctor would prescribe a diet."

"In fact," the EMH said without looking up from his scan of Seven, "I'm going to do just that. You are both showing signs of malnutrition, as well as exposure."

Chakotay shrugged. "We ran out of emergency rations two weeks ago. There wasn't much that was edible."

The EMH moved, and Kathryn had her first good look at Seven. Like Chakotay, she had lost several kilos and looked skeletal. Her hair was loose and disheveled, hanging in clumps and she was unnaturally pale. "The Commander was successful in locating a few plants and berries that were not poisonous. And there were some snakes that were safe to eat." Catching Chakotay's eye, her mouth curved slightly as they apparently shared some memory.

Then Chakotay's face clouded and he looked away. Seven's slight smile disappeared and she lowered her head.

And even then, Kathryn was only slightly puzzled. People often had different perspectives on memories of the same event. One person's adventure could be another's nightmare. "So, how are they, Doctor?"

He was frowning. "Neither is in immediate danger, Captain. As I said, they are both suffering from malnutrition and exposure and they've picked up a couple of parasites in the digestive tract that can be eliminated easily enough. I … have not quite completed my examination of Seven, but she is in need of regeneration as soon as possible."

"Can I return to my quarters?" Chakotay asked. His voice sounded harsh.

"Shortly. Once we finish the treatment for the parasites, there is no need to keep you. You can rest in your cabin as easily as here." The EMH was completely professional, but Kathryn thought she heard some coldness in his voice.

"Get some rest," she told Chakotay. "I can review your logs instead of debriefing you now. We can talk after you've had a chance to recover."

He looked as if he wanted to say something, then just nodded.

She went to Seven. "I'm glad to have you back safely."

"Thank you, Captain."

Kathryn left, and the relief that she had felt on entering Sickbay was replaced by an undefined, niggling worry.

Two hours later, the vagueness was resolved. The EMH asked to meet with her privately and some premonition made her decide to go to Sickbay rather than meet in her ready room. She found that both the patients had been discharged and the place was empty. "Thank you for coming, Captain," the EMH said and gestured to his office. "Please, have a seat."

"I assume this has something to do with Commander Chakotay and Seven?" she asked as she sat.

"Yes. Or more precisely, Seven." He frowned deeply, but said nothing more.

"Don't keep me in suspense, Doctor. Is she ill? What's the problem?"

"The problem," he said, "is that Seven was the victim of multiple sexual attacks."

She stared, wondering if she had heard correctly. Finally she said, "Attacks? Are you telling me that she was raped? More than once?"

"She clearly shows signs of multiple sexual encounters."

Anger threatened to engulf her and she tamped it down with an effort. "Doctor, since Commander Chakotay was the only other humanoid on that rock, you are making a very serious accusation. Which is it, 'attack' or 'encounter'?"

He pursed his lips. "There is no evidence of violence, but –"

"Did Seven say she was attacked or forced in any way?"

"No." He seemed reluctant to admit it. "When I asked, she said the encounters were consensual."

Kathryn felt a stab of pain in her chest, but pushed that aside like the anger. It could be dealt with later. "Is there any clinical or medical evidence of force or coercion?"

"No."

She drew a deep breath to calm herself. "Then why do you so clearly believe otherwise?"

"Seven is inexperienced in such matters, Captain. She has had no encounters of this nature before. Commander Chakotay was the senior officer on the mission. That alone creates an aura, if you will, of coercion. Seven might even believe it was consensual but the Commander should have known better." He was clearly angry.

Kathryn closed her eyes. She could hear her grandmother's voice in her mind. What goes around, comes around, Kathryn.

"He may have made an error in judgment but that does not mean that he attacked her. They were in difficult circumstances, Doctor, and they are, after all, human. I also believe that Seven has been attracted to the Commander for some time."

He flinched slightly, then stiffened. "I did not think you would take this so lightly. Didn't you see the way he treated her before? He did his best to pretend she wasn't even there. She was deeply hurt."

"Yes, I did see." And I've seen it before, from Seven's perspective.

"Don't you think that's rather telling?"

She rose. "Doctor, I know that you are very protective of Seven. I assure you that if I learn that any coercion, implied or direct, was involved, I will take the appropriate steps. But I don't think that's the case."

"Captain," he said in a tone that bordered on insubordination, "I suggest you let Tuvok handle this investigation. Your friendship for the Commander may cloud your judgment."

Her anger rose again, and she converted it to her command glare. "Doctor, I will not tolerate comments like that from you or from anyone. You have made a charge that could ruin the Commander's ability to function on this ship but you have no evidence of anything other than what could be a mistake in judgment or even the beginning of a genuine relationship. I will advise Tuvok if and when it becomes necessary. Until then, this matter is confidential. I trust I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Yes, Captain. I understand."

She intended to go straight to Chakotay's quarters, but as she reached the turbolift, she abruptly changed her mind. "Cargo Bay 2," she said.

The Cargo Bay was disorganized and crowded, as the structural engineering team had been trying to construct some private area for Seven as time allowed. The ship had been battered during the month-long search for the missing shuttle and the project had been abandoned for higher priorities. Kathryn was surprised to find the regeneration alcove empty. Seven was standing in the area that had been marked off as her future bedroom.

"Seven?"

The younger woman turned. She was once again impeccably groomed, but she was still far too thin and tired. "Captain. I did not expect to see you yet."

"Why aren't you regenerating?"

"I am not ready yet. There are some thoughts I wish to resolve first."

"About Chakotay?"

Seven looked startled. "Yes. How did you know that?"

"The Doctor has made a serious accusation."

"He should not have done so. I thought I spoke to him in confidence."

Kathryn closed the distance between them and touched her arm. "Seven, it's my responsibility to protect my crew, even from one another."

She laughed, a brief and bitter sound. "Then perhaps you should protect the Commander from me. If there was an aggressor, Captain, it was not him. The fault is mine."

What goes around, Kathryn thought. "Tell me about it."

When she left the area, Seven was regenerating peacefully and Kathryn was deeply troubled. She felt as if she had dropped into a holovid that was replaying her past, but casting her in a different role. There was nothing criminal involved, certainly no coercion and no breach of regulation. But there were two good and decent people had made a mistake that they didn't know how to correct, and so they were hurting themselves and each other.

God, but she wished there was a counselor on board.

Checking the time, she decided that Chakotay must be asleep by now. In fact, it was well into beta shift and she should be thinking about winding up for the day herself. There was no point in going back to the Bridge now. She may as well return to her quarters, have a little dinner and try to relax.

Her cabin was dark when she entered. "Computer, normal lights."

"Could you leave them dim?" a familiar voice asked.

"Lights at 50%," she said calmly. "Chakotay, why are you here?"

He sat on her sofa, his face turned toward the stars. "I couldn't sleep. There are things I need to tell you. Then, if you want me to resign, I will."

She stifled a sigh, and took a seat in the chair nearest him. "All right."

He looked at her. Even in the half-light, she could see he was troubled. "You don't sound surprised."

"I've spoken with the Doctor. And with Seven."

His shoulders sagged. "I'm sorry. I wanted you to hear it from me first." He stood. "You'll have my resignation in the morning."

"Sit down," she said sharply, and waited until he did. "Why do you think I want you to resign?"

"You know why."

"I know what happened. I don't know why it happened, at least why you think it happened."

"Is that important?"

"I think so."

He took a deep breath, then looked away. "I didn't mean for it to happen. I shouldn't have let it happen. It's not like I'm a cadet controlled by my hormones. It was just –" He stopped, then turned to her. "I'm sorry. You don't need to hear this."

"You need to talk about it," she said, "and perhaps I need to hear it."

"It was the worst survival situation I've ever been in, except when the Kazon abandoned us," he began slowly. "Just surviving from day to day took everything we had. It was a miserable place, hot as hell during the day and freezing at night, so we had to stay with the shuttle. It was so damaged that we had to shut off everything, including the replicator, just to maintain life support. The only other system working was communications.

"The nearest water was a little spring about 5 kilometers from our site. Almost no plant life and the only animals we saw were snakes the size of anacondas. I still can't figure out what they ate to get that big before we arrived. They weren't poisonous, but they were constrictors and they loved our emergency rations. They got into the shuttle one day while we were out and wiped out about half the supply before we got them out."

Unable to contain his nervous energy any longer, he stood and began to pace. "The first night, I told myself it would get easier but it didn't. It got harder each day because each day threw something unexpected at us and each day a little bit of hope died. There was a windstorm one day that lifted rocks and boulders and tossed them around. Another day the spring just disappeared. It came back the next day, I don't know why. One day Seven got caught by some kind of predatory vine; I was able to cut her free just before it strangled her.

"I guess it was the fourteenth day or so, and I killed another snake that got into the food supply and I stood there, holding the carcass and shouting at it. I cursed that dead snake for all eternity, and then I hurled it as far as I could into the night and yelled some more. Seven was worried and rightly so; I wasn't exactly rational at that moment. She came over and touched me, and … something in me just snapped. I was so tired of facing death all the time. I needed to feel alive again."

He stopped, and drew a long breath. "The worst part is, it didn't matter that it was Seven. I would have felt the same about anyone who was with me at that moment, I think. If she had been at all reluctant, I think I could have stopped, but she seemed to be feeling the same way I was. I took advantage of her, Captain. I was the senior officer and I used her."

Kathryn sat still for a moment, then rose and went to the replicator. "Two cups of tea, Chakotay special blend." Handing him a cup, she indicated he should sit down on the sofa again. "I want to tell you a story," she said.

Looking confused, he sat as she returned to the chair. "A story?"

"Yes. It's a story I've never told to anyone before, and frankly one I've tried not to think about. But I think you need to hear it."

She took a sip of tea before beginning. It had been a very long time since she had dredged up these memories. "Once upon a time," she began. "That's how all the stories began when I was young, and I was very young when this story happened.

"Once upon a time, there was a newly commissioned Starfleet ensign. She was absolutely thrilled when her first assignment after graduation was to serve as the science officer on a ship commanded by the admiral who had been her thesis advisor at the Academy. This particular admiral was brilliant and demanding, and he was also young for his rank. And to be truthful, the Ensign had a crush on him."

She smiled slightly, thinking of Owen Paris twenty-five years earlier. He wasn't as tall as his son, but he had the same blue eyes that could twinkle when he was amused and the same smile that could disarm her so easily. "Yes, the Ensign had a huge crush on him. I don't think the Admiral realized that, though. He didn't pay attention to things like that, and he was happily married and not looking for anything on the side. And then, one day, they were in a shuttle accident and crashed on a very cold, very barren planetoid. There was a third person with them, a Lieutenant, who was badly injured. The Admiral and the Ensign did all the things they were taught to do to survive but each day was a struggle to stay alive. Days turned into a week, and then two weeks, and the Ensign began to realize that help might not come in time. They were low on rations, low on water, and there was no edible food or potable liquid on the planetoid.

"Then the Lieutenant died. He had held on for days but finally lapsed into a coma and died. They went out into the dry, cold wind and buried him under a cairn of stones."

She remembered the way the wind whistled through the rocks, felt the way it whipped her hair into her face and seemed to cut with cold all the way to the bone. They had worked in silence, setting the stones, anticipating each other's moves. They had been living so closely together they knew how to anticipate one another. When the cairn was at last in place, she had looked at him and thought that he was the only thing keeping her from giving up.

"When they returned to the shuttle, they were both very tired and very emotional and … one thing led to another." They had fallen on each other wordlessly, desperately. Perhaps inevitably.

She swallowed another sip of tea. This was the first time in twenty years she had spoken of this, and she realized that time had granted her a perspective she had not had before. "It was about life in the face of death, and about comfort, but it was something else, too. These two people were friends before the accident, and two weeks of living so intensely and so desperately and so … intimately eroded their judgment. It was easy to think, even for a brief time, that the friendship was something more."

He looked away, and she knew she had struck a chord. "They were rescued three days later and as soon as they were back on board and relatively healthy again, the Ensign realized how mistaken they had been. Apparently the Admiral did, too, because he went out of his way to avoid her for a couple of weeks. You know what? That hurt more than anything else. She thought he had simply tired of her, or worse, that didn't respect her because of what had happened. She was too inexperienced to realize that he might have simply been feeling guilty about it."

"What happened?"

"She finally applied for a transfer, and he granted it without talking to her. That," she smiled again, "made her very angry and she marched into his ready room and called him a coward."

He blinked. "She called an admiral a coward?"

"She did. Perhaps it wasn't the smartest career move she ever made but it did break the ice. They finally talked about it. He was relieved to learn she did not expect the relationship to continue and she was relieved to learn that his attitude was just chagrin that, as the senior officer, he had not been stronger. They agreed it was a mistake and deleted the transfer request. She stayed on board, and they never spoke of it again. Over the years, they managed to remain friends."

Chakotay looked at her, his expression indecipherable. "Did Seven understand when you told her?"

"I didn't tell Seven. You're the only person I've ever shared that story with."

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"Seven can't ask for a transfer, and I doubt she has enough confidence to call you a coward." Kathryn shook her head. "The Doctor was right about one thing. In this area, Seven is inexperienced and very unsure of herself. You need to take the initiative to resolve this."

His head lowered, and he suddenly seemed very interested in the contents of his teacup.

She suddenly thought she understood, and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. "Chakotay? Do you want to continue a relationship with Seven? It wouldn't be against regulations."

"No," he said quickly, and her stomach unclenched. "That's not it. I just don't know what to say to her. I don't want to hurt her."

"That's a good place to start. Right now she's confused. You know Seven. Confusion upsets her more than almost anything else. If you can clarify the situation for her, she can cope with it."

"The way the Ensign did?"

She shrugged. "As I said, the Ensign and the Admiral managed to remain friends. Don't discount the satisfaction of friendship. And I think Seven can use all the true friends she can get." Then she stood. "Go back to your quarters, Chakotay. Get some sleep. And talk to Seven tomorrow. I want this resolved – or at least, the process begun – before the two of you return to duty."

"My report –"

"Will not mention this. I'll handle it in my logs."

"Thank you." He reached a hand as if to touch her, then let it drop. "Good night, Captain."

"Good night."

She didn't move until he was gone, then said, "Lights at 25%." Moving to the sofa, she sat on the spot he just left; it was still warm.

As she looked at the stars, she thought about the conversation she would have to have with the Doctor, and with Tuvok, who would have to be advised of her conclusions, and of the log entry she would have to draft. She thought about Seven and Chakotay, both blaming themselves for a very human mistake. She thought about the girl she had been twenty-some years ago. She thought about the stars that streaked past like time itself.

Mostly, though, she thought Owen's wife, and hoped with all her heart that Cinda had never learned about her husband's mistake with a girl she had welcomed into her home and heart. After twenty-five years, she finally understood that some mistakes hurt the innocent bystanders worst of all.