Kathryn waited outside the entrance to holodeck 2 and realized that a headache was starting. If it had been feasible, she would have delegated this task but under the circumstances she was the only one who could deal with it. In all her years in Starfleet, she had never had to deal with a situation quite like this.

Then again, how many times had she said that in the Delta quadrant?

Seven rounded the corridor, arriving at exactly the appointed time. She might have regained her efficiency, Kathryn noted, but she looked pale and unhappy. "You asked to see me, Captain."

"Yes. There's something I'd like you to take a look at." She turned toward the door, but paused when she realized that Seven was hanging back. "Is something wrong?"

"What is it that you wish me to see?"

"Just come with me, please." The door opened, and Kathryn walked inside. Seven followed, but seemed to relax when she saw the black and yellow grids. No programs were in use.

"I decided to take a peek at your gravimetric array." Kathryn watched the younger woman closely. Although her expression did not change, there was a sudden increase in the tension in her body. "Someone deleted the last program you were working on."

"I deleted it," Seven said quickly. "The project did not develop as I anticipated. It was not worth pursuing."

Kathryn looked at her for a long moment, wondering how much of that was the truth. "Computer," she said finally, "activate program Janeway Recovered-Alpha."

The grid shimmered, and reshaped itself. In a moment they were standing in a replica of a crew cabin on Voyager. It was furnished sparingly and with little decoration save for a dream catcher above the bed and a functional kitchen area instead of a replicator.

Seven didn't bother to look around. Her mouth flattened to a straight line. "You had no right to access my program."

"You lied to me, Seven. You lied to me about the performance of your duty. That gives me the right to find out why."

"It is personal."

"It might have started out that way. But the moment you made this program more important than the ship, it became my business." She softened her tone. "Do you understand the concept of holoadiction?"

"Holoadiction is a psychological condition in which participation in holographic scenarios becomes more important to the individual than participation in real life." Her eyes flicked to Janeway. "What is the relevance of your question?"

"I should think that is obvious."

"You think I am suffering from holoadiction. I assure you, I am not."

"No?" Kathryn began to walk around the quarters. "When the Doctor told you to regenerate, did you?"

"No."

"What did you do?"

"I came here."

"During the baby shower?"

"I was here."

"When you left Astrometrics when you were supposed to be recalibrating the long-range sensors?"

"Why do you ask when you already know the answer?"

"I want you to hear yourself. In all the time you've been on board Voyager, you've never let anything distract you from your duty. The only times you've been … less than efficient were times that outside forces were affecting you. But this is different, isn't it? This time the distraction is from within."

Seven looked away, her body stiff with tension. "I made an error. It will not happen again."

"I’m sure it won't," Kathryn murmured. She looked around, then went to the kitchen area and picked up a piece of chopped carrot. "Do you want your own quarters?"

The sudden change in direction seemed to catch Seven by surprise. "It is not possible. My regeneration unit requires more power than is available in the crew cabins."

There was bitterness in her voice, real and raw. Kathryn studied her closely. "Is that what this is all about? About being different from the rest of us?"

"No. I am accustomed to being different."

"What, then?"

Seven looked at her for several seconds, her eyes hot with anger. "I am not Annika, and I never will be."

"I don't understand."

"In Unimatrix Zero, I was Annika. I knew what it felt like to be without implants, and to be fully human."

Kathryn remembered. In Unimatrix Zero, Seven had been very different. Without the Borg implants she had dressed differently, carried herself differently, even spoken with different inflections. And she had called herself Annika. "Yes, I remember."

"Outside of these walls, I cannot be Annika. But I thought that here, in the holodeck, I might be able to feel that way again."

A surge of pity swept through her. "And did you?"

"For a while. For a while I was able to be friends with the crew, the way I was able to be friends with Laura and Korrock."

"And Axum?" Kathryn asked quietly. "Did you find someone you could love the way you loved Axum?"

Seven blushed and looked away. "I suspect you know the answer to that."

Kathryn sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm sure this feels like an unpardonable intrusion into your privacy. But Seven, what you did was wrong. I understand now why you did it, but that doesn’t change the basic principle."

"I understand."

"Do you? Then tell me."

"It was wrong to leave my post when the ship was in crisis."

"That's part of it. It was also wrong to create holographic simulations of your crewmates without their permission. It was an invasion of their privacy and dangerous to your own mental health." She walked over to the bed, and touched one of the feathers on the dreamcatcher. It was as soft and smooth as a real feather would be. If she hadn't known better, she would have believed she is in actual quarters.

"It gets to be too hard to remember what is real and what was a holodeck experience. The lines between fantasy and reality get blurred." She sighed. "That's why I have removed your holodeck privileges indefinitely. As of now, you cannot independently create holodeck programs and you cannot use the holodeck alone."

Seven's eyes widened. "Will you tell Commander Chakotay of this?"

"I'm going to tell him, and Tuvok, that I believe you are suffering from holoadiction. I do believe that, Seven. That's all they need to know." She walked back over to the young woman and brushed a hand against her arm. "When we're certain you've recovered, your privileges will be reinstated."

"Recovery will not be a problem. The Doctor has discovered that my cortical node contains an emotional damper. I am incapable of experiencing sustained, strong emotions. Extended use of this scenario could be harmful."

Kathryn felt tears threaten. What a waste. What a damnable waste. No wonder she's bitter. She knows now what she has lost. "I'm sorry."

"I do not want your pity."

"Live with it. What the Borg did to you deserves compassion and yes, a little pity. But it doesn’t mean you have to retreat to the Cargo Bay and avoid the rest of us. You are part of this family, just as you are." She looked around. "Computer, end program."

The room shimmied back to its black-and-gold grid. "Everyone has limitations. For most of us, those limitations come from genetics. Yours come from the Borg. That doesn't mean that can't strive to be happy within those limitations, or even that we have to accept them."

"That is easy for you to say."

"I'm sure it looks that way from your perspective." Then she smiled. "Oh, my. That was the voice of my mother. Funny how she pops out every now and then. My point is, it's rarely easy for anyone but we still to try. So, let me ask you again: would you like to have your own quarters? We can set up some walls in the cargo bay so that you can have some private space, maybe even your own kitchen. And a bed. You might like to take a nap once in a while."

Seven nodded slowly. "Yes. I would like that."

"Good. I'll speak to B'Elanna. And I hope that you will continue to come to social functions. In time, you'll find a way to interact that feels comfortable and you won't feel quite so lonely."

Seven considered this, then cocked her head. "May I ask you a question, Captain? Why do you persist in your loneliness?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You are alone as a matter of choice. Everyone knows that you and Commander Chakotay are … inclined toward one another if you would permit the relationship."

"That's really none of your business," Kathryn said more sharply than she intended. Then she relented. "I told you, everyone has limitations. Sometimes those limitations come from rank and duty. We do the best we can within them."

Seven bit her lip, then said quietly, "That is why I picked him. I knew that you value him highly and wondered why. The study made me appreciate the Commander's many admirable qualities."

Kathryn didn't quite know what to say. Did Seven have a crush on Chakotay? Or did she feel something truer?

"It is a pity," Seven went on softly, "that you cannot be together. It makes both of you unhappy."

Was it her imagination, or did she hear a hint of a challenge in Seven's voice? Perhaps Seven was capable of more emotion than she realized. Was she putting Kathryn on notice of her intentions? Or did she harbor hopes so deep she wasn't yet aware of them?

Folding her arms, Kathryn smiled. "Chakotay and I are together, Seven. Not in every sense of the word, granted, but in a very real way nonetheless."

She let Seven chew on that for a moment, and was gratified when the younger woman gave a slight nod of acquiescence. Her point made, Kathryn said, "You can return to duty. If you think you need the holodeck for a work-related use, clear it directly with me until further notice. And I will speak to B'Elanna this afternoon about renovations in the cargo bay."

Recognizing that she had been dismissed, Seven started to leave.

"One more thing." Kathryn caught Seven's eyes and made certain she had her full attention. "Don't ever lie to me again about your performance while on duty. Tell me the truth or decline to answer, but do not ever lie. No one, no matter how talented, is on my staff if I can't trust them."

"It will not happen again."

"Good."

When Seven was gone, Kathryn stood for a moment, considering. The imminent headache had never materialized but she did not feel relieved. For years she had assumed that, one day, Seven would fully recover her humanity. Was it fair of her to deny her the opportunity to use the holodecks to express her true self for at least a few hours at a time, even at the price of holoadiction? Or was it better to force Seven to learn to function within the parameters forced upon her?

Was it possible that Seven might be nursing a secret torch for Chakotay?

If she was, should she be discouraged? Would that be fair to either Seven or Chakotay?

What was the right thing to do?

When she was faced with ethical dilemmas concerning the crew, she usually consulted Chakotay. That wasn't feasible in this situation.

Was it?

Without stopping to think about it, she acted on impulse. "Computer, activate program Janeway Recovered-Alpha." Seven's quarters shimmered into existence. "Insert Chakotay character."

Chakotay, dressed in his gray suit, appeared in front of her. She'd reviewed the complex programming for this simulation. Beyond physical appearance, Seven had done a remarkable job of capturing his personality, and apart from the romantic interest in Seven that had been added she thought his reactions probably would be authentic.

"Captain," he said, looking worried. "Do you have news about Seven?"

"She's going to be all right," Kathryn said. Her heart lurched as relief spread across his face. His feelings were obvious. She reached out a hand and said, "Sit with me a moment."

They went to the sofa, and he looked at her curiously. "What is it?"

"Tell me something honestly," she said. "Are you happy?"

"What?"

"Does Seven make you happy?"

"Yes," he said simply. "She does."

Kathryn managed to smile. "I'm glad," she said, and gave his hand a squeeze before she stood.

He didn't let go of her hand, and she turned to look at him. "Are you sorry you gave me your blessing?"

She swallowed. That conversation hadn't shown up in the programming. "No. You deserve to be happy."

He looked at her intently. "I was never unhappy."

She bit her lip. "Is that true?"

Still holding her hand, he stood and pulled her into a hug. She found her self responding, holding him tightly. "Kathryn, you know it's true."

She closed her eyes tightly and buried her head against his shoulder. For just a moment, she was tempted to freeze the program and make some adjustments and enjoy a fantasy of her own. Then the moment passed, and she knew what she had to do.

Stepping back but still holding his him, she looked up into his face. "Goodbye," she said softly. "Computer, end program."

She was alone again in the empty grid. "Computer, encrypt program Janeway Recover-Alpha to security level one." That would assure that even after the program was deleted, there would be no possible way to recover it.

"Program encrypted."

"Delete program."

The holodeck returned to its bare grid. "Program deleted."

She hit her commbadge. "Janeway to Chakotay."

<Yes, Captain.>

"Are you available, Commander? I need to update you on a matter relating to a member of the crew."

<I’m available. Just catching up on paperwork in my office. Do you want to come here, or should I meet you on the bridge?>

"Stay put. I'll be there shortly."

He had to know about the holoadiction and the restrictions on Seven's access to the holodeck and Lab, but she would keep her promise. He didn't need to know anything more.

As for the possibility of Seven's secret unrequited love, she decided to let it pass. Somehow she didn't think anything would ever come of it and if it did, well, she would find a way to cope.

Or perhaps, to fight back.

It might be interesting, at that.