Chakotay faced the survivors of his crew, now shipless and prisoners on the USS Voyager. The emotion in the holodeck, where Captain Janeway had ordered them, was palpable. It was no wonder they were spooked; in the past seven days, they had been chased by Cardassians, pulled across the galaxy, abducted and probed by an alien, forced to fight for their lives and now completely dependent on the mercy of the Federation, in the person of Captain Kathryn Janeway. He was surprised and grateful that she had let them stay together in a holodeck simulation of a dormitory. Torres, the most battered of his crew, was lying down on one of the bunk beds. Most of the others were gathered around him, talking simultaneously.

"Where are we?"

"We can take this ship, there aren’t that many of them."

"What’s going to happen now?"

"What do we do?"

What do we do, indeed. "Everyone, settle down." He did not raise his voice, but they all quieted. And they all looked at him expectantly. Damn.

He looked around at the faces. Ayala, stoic and silent as usual. Suder, dark eyes lit with inner fire. Henley, looking simply scared. "I don’t know what’s going to happen next. But it’s a good sign that Captain Janeway put us here, instead of in the brig."

"The brig couldn’t hold us all," Seska said scornfully.

"Does this look like a brig to you?" he asked, perhaps more harshly than he intended. "She could have programmed a prison instead of this."

"Sorry. I suppose the guards outside the door are just housemothers." She smiled demurely, and he remembered again how dangerous her wit was.

"Symbols mean something," he continued, looking away from her to the others. "If she wanted us to feel like we are prisoners, she could have done better than this."

"Then what does it mean?" Jackson asked.

"I don’t know yet," he admitted, "but we’ll find out soon enough."

Torres rolled over in the bunk and looked at him for the first time. Propping herself on one elbow, she said, "Do you mean we’re just going to sit back and wait for Janeway to decide how to dispose of us? That’s ridiculous. We could take this ship, Chakotay. They’re under-manned and distracted."

"Stow it!" he said angrily. "Do you think thirty of us could run this ship? Face facts, Torres. All of you."

Further discussion was curtailed by an interruption from the comm system. "Mr. Chakotay," a familiar voice said, "I am coming in."

Captain Janeway entered, followed by Tuvok. She looked as if it had been a long time since her last break. There were lavender circles under her eyes, and smudges of soot or lubricant on uniform. A thick strand of hair had come loose and dangled freely down her back. She clutched a padd in her right hand, in contrast to Tuvok, who held a phaser at the ready.

"Wait here," he said quietly to his people, and went to meet them. As he crossed the deck, he thought that she was either very brave, to come among prisoners who might well try to take her hostage with only one bodyguard, or very foolish. Or there was more security on this holodeck than was visible to the eye. After working with her against the Caretaker and the Kazon, he did not think she was foolish. "Captain Janeway."

"Are your people all right?"

That was not the phrasing he would choose, but he nodded. "Thank you for not putting us in the brig."

"There are 30 of you, Mr. Chakotay. Even after the close quarters on your ship, that would be just a little too crowded." She did not smile, but something in her eyes took any sting out of her words. "I’d like to talk with you, but I’m afraid I don’t have time to sit down. Will you walk with me?"

This was not a good sign, he decided. If she wouldn’t spare the time to sit down and discuss the situation, she had already made up her mind. Oddly, he felt disappointment. For some reason he had expected better of her. Refusing her request would not help anything, though, so he nodded his agreement and, with a quick warning glance over his shoulder aimed at Torres, he followed her through the access arch.

As they entered the ship’s corridor, he saw one reason why she had entered without fear. Two armed guards stood outside the entrance. One of them restored a forcefield in the doorway as soon as they cleared it. Janeway started down the corridor at a brisk pace, so that he had to stride to keep up with her. Tuvok followed about three paces behind, keeping the phaser pointed at his back.

"How is your crew reacting to our situation?" she asked him.

"As you might expect. Some are angry, some are confused. I think everyone is a little scared." A piece of conduit hung down from the ceiling, and without thinking he reached to move it out of her way. "It’s hard to believe that we’re 75 years away from home."

A young crewman in an Operations uniform dashed up to Janeway and extended her hand. She was clutching a padd tightly. "Captain, Lt. Carey asked that I get this to you right away. It’s the report on the EPS system."

Janeway took the padd along with the one she already held. "Thank you, Ensign, ah, Ballard. Did Mr. Carey give you any indication when the repairs might be complete?"

"Uh, I think he thinks it will take twelve hours, assuming we can keep the routing interface on line. It’s being persnickety."

He thought that Janeway almost smiled at the girl’s description. "Tell Mr. Carey I appreciate his promptness. And have Mr. Kim come to Engineering as soon as he’s released from Sickbay. I understand he’s a good hand with persnickety computers." Then she dismissed the ensign with a nod, and resumed walking.

Once again, he had to move quickly to match her pace. "You really took a beating."

Without turning her head, her eyes slid to look at him. "Nothing we can’t repair. Most of this is from the Caretaker’s transporter beam, or whatever it was. The Kazon did their share, though." She turned to the right so abruptly that he had to do a quick shuffle step to get back in line. "Just how angry are your people?"

The question struck him as particularly pointless, and his irritation showed in his voice. "I don’t know how to answer that. We have no ship, we’re prisoners, and we’re 75,000 light years from home. How angry do you think we are?"

In the corner of his eye, he saw Tuvok tense his body and move closer. Chakotay turned and faced him. "You can put that thing away, Tuvok. I’m not stupid enough to try anything when I’m alone in the middle of your ship."

"Desperation often overcomes logic in humans," Tuvok replied coolly, not lowering his weapon.

Janeway stopped and studied them both. After a moment she said, "It’s all right, Tuvok. Mr. Chakotay will not go back on his word now that he’s given it."

He looked at her warily. It was true, he would not, but how could she be so damned sure of him? "Should I be flattered that you trust me, or insulted that you think I pose so little threat?"

To his surprise, she smiled. "Oh, be flattered. If I thought you posed no threat, Tuvok would be on the bridge right now." She folded her arms across her chest. "We have a problem, Chakotay. I do not have the resources to keep 30 people in the brig for the next 75 years, and I will not spend that time wondering if a mutiny is imminent. If this ship is going to make it home, I have to be able to count on every member of the crew."

"You’re going to put us off." He didn’t bother to make it a question; it was what he would do in her place.

"That’s one option," she said. "And it may be the only one that is feasible. I had something else in mind, though."

Before he could react, they were interrupted by the comm system. "Sickbay to Captain Janeway." Chakotay recognized the voice of the EMH.

"Yes, Doctor." From her tone, he guessed that this was not her first conversation with the hologram that day.

"I have released all the patients from Sickbay. However, no one has deactivated my program yet. There are parameters on my maximum usage, you know."

"Yes, Doctor." She looked at Tuvok. "Send someone to deal with it. I don’t care who. Just get it done." Then she turned back to Chakotay. "Where was I?"

"You had something else in mind for my crew."

She nodded. "If we can agree to certain conditions, I would like to keep you and your people on board, as full members of the crew. We all have a better chance of getting home if we can combine talents and work together."

It was all he could do not to stare. This was the last thing he had expected from her, from any Starfleet captain. "What conditions?"

She turned and began walking again. "First, that everyone recognizes this is a Starfleet ship. Everyone will wear the uniform, follow orders, and recognize me as the commanding officer. If your people are too angry to commit to that, it won’t work."

He was astounded. In fact, the offer was so surprising that he could think only of reasons why it wouldn’t work. "Captain, only a handful of my crew has had any Starfleet training."

"I assumed that." As she passed a small work group huddled around the hatch to a Jefferies tube, one of crew handed her another padd which she accepted without breaking stride. She read it as she talked to him. "We’ll create a training schedule. It won’t be easy at first, but if everyone is really trying…damn. Tuvok, go back there and tell Thompson to get Jenny Delaney on his team. She’s knows that circuitry like the back of her hand. If everyone is really trying, Chakotay, we can make it work."

Chakotay glanced back at Tuvok. The Vulcan was definitely frowning, but he turned and trotted back toward the work party. He looked at Janeway again. Still walking, she had added the last padd to the others in her hand and was looking at him expectantly.

"It would have to be real," he said. "Real responsibilities, equal treatment with your crew. Otherwise it won’t work."

"Absolutely," she said. They had reached the turbolift, and she hit the call button. "I’m sorry if I didn’t make that clear. I’m a little rushed today."

No kidding, he thought. Where was her Exec? The captain should not have to deal with the direct reports of the repair teams.

"Will it work?"

He shook himself mentally. "Will it work? There’s one more big problem. The uniform."

She turned, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"The uniform. It’s symbolic." She was still looking at him blankly. "Captain, there is no more immediate and recognizable symbol of the Federation than the Starfleet uniform. And to most of my crew, the Federation stands for betrayal. I’m not sure all of them will be willing to put it on."

"Including you?"

He drew in his breath sharply. This conversation was taking him to places he hadn’t anticipated. "Perhaps. Maybe more for me than most of the others." He looked away, back down the corridor to the repair team that was talking to Tuvok with some animation. They looked, he thought, very young. "When I was a boy, Starfleet protected my planet. To me, they represented safety, and right. But when the Federation abandoned my people to the Cardassians, it destroyed everything I ever believed about it. When I look at that uniform now, it stands for betrayal. I’m not certain I can wear it again."

They stood for a moment, letting her consider his words.

"Kim to Janeway." The comm system again.

"Janeway here."

"Captain, we’re going to have to take weapons offline for about an hour. It’s the only way to repair the targeting system."

She looked at Chakotay with an expression that could be interpreted only one way – ‘if it’s not one damned thing, it’s another.’ A look that was usually shared by colleagues and friends, not a prisoner and his jailer. "Understood, Harry. Don’t go over an hour, though. We don’t know when the Kazon might pop up."

"Yes, ma’am – uh, Captain."

"And Harry," she added with a smile, "the Doctor made me promise not to work you to exhaustion. You’re not fully recovered yet. If you get tired, take a rest."

"Yes, Captain. I’m fine."

Tuvok returned then, and the turbolift doors opened. They all stepped in together. Janeway looked at Chakotay. "I’m sorry to hear that." It took a moment for his mind to harken back to the conversation before it had been interrupted. "Because it directly affects my second condition. Deck 15."

"Second condition?"

"Yes. You see-"

"Rollins to Janeway." Another interruption from the comm system.

"Yes, Mr. Rollins." Although Chakotay did not know her well, he could tell that her patience was beginning to wear thin.

"Captain, we can’t make heads or tails of the navigation board. Mr. Paris has offered to help."

She took a slow breath. "And the point of your call would be--?"

There was a slight hesitation before Rollins responded. Chakotay recognized the sound of an officer who knows he’s just made a mistake with his C.O. "Ah, I’m not exactly clear Mr. Paris’s current status."

"Mr. Paris," she said, biting her lower lip, "is currently a member of any repair team we assign him to. Should I assign him, Mr. Rollins?

"No, ma’am," he said fervently. "I’ll take care of it."

Chakotay couldn’t stand it any more. Maquis or not, his last Starfleet assignment had been as First Officer, and he knew this was not right. "Where the hell is your Exec?"

"Commander Cavit did not survive transit to this quadrant," Tuvok said.

"Which leads us to my next condition," Janeway said immediately. "I want you to be my First Officer, Mr. Chakotay."

The turbolift stopped and the doors opened, but he did not move. "I beg your pardon?"

She stepped into the corridor, looking over her shoulder at him. "You heard me."

If Tuvok hadn’t nudged him, he would have stayed on the turbolift to its next stop. Maybe longer. "I don’t understand."

"I need a First Officer, and you seem to be an ideal choice. You are the only officer on board with experience, and you had excellent ratings from Captain Graves during your stint as Exec on the Gettysburg." She looked at him closely. "More than that, it would be a powerful message to both our crews, that we are working together for a common goal."

He was completely floored. In the past few minutes the idea of being part of Voyager’s crew had flitted around in his mind, but never as part of the command team. It was more than generous, it was a remarkable show of faith. "Why?" he blurted out. "Why would you trust me?"

Janeway looked at her security chief. "Tuvok, give us a few minutes. We need to speak privately."

The Vulcan looked displeased. "As you wish, Captain." His tone left no doubt that he disapproved her action.

Janeway led him down the corridor and into a room with several tables and a large view port, probably a mess hall or observation lounge. She looked out at the sky. "Alien stars," she said softly. "When I was a girl, I dreamed of seeing alien stars, and new worlds. To go where no one has gone before."

He stood beside her, watching her rather than the stars. In the brief time he had known her, there had been no opportunity to observe her in a quiet moment. They had been forced to deal with one crisis after another. Now, though, in the silence of this empty room, she looked different but the difference was hard to define. Not exactly softer, but somehow more approachable. Almost vulnerable. It was amazing that she would trust him that much before securing his answer.

"I never imagined it would be like this, though." She smiled ruefully. "We’re on our own out here. No orders, no terms of engagement, and no back-up. It’s going to take all of our talent and determination, and a lot of luck, to make it home again."

She turned and looked him in the eye. "You sacrificed your ship for the greater good of us all. That tells me that you can see the bigger picture, not just the immediate needs of the moment. We worked well together on that planet. I think we would work well together on this ship.

"You asked me why I trust you. The answer is, I don’t know why, but the fact is I do. And since I don’t have the luxury of time, I’m going with my instincts on this. The question is, are you willing to do the same?"

He looked at her intently, trying to make sense of his jumbled thoughts. Fortunately, the comm system paged her at that moment.

"Nicoletti to Janeway."

"Yes, Lieutenant."

"Captain, we’ve got a problem with the replicators. We’re taking them offline."

The Captain pressed two fingers to her temple. "For how long?"

‘We don’t know yet. At least eight hours. It looks like emergency rations for dinner tonight."

Chakotay listened to the conversation, watched the tension creep into Janeway’s face. In that moment, he had an epiphany.

All his life, he had been searching for a purpose. Other times he thought he had found it, first with Starfleet, then with the Maquis, but neither had truly satisfied him. Now, in an instant, he knew that this woman would get them home again, and he could help her do it. He felt that everything he had ever done in his life was in preparation for this opportunity. This was the first time he had ever felt such certainty.

And with the certainty, a sense of peace.

"I’m sorry," Janeway said, turning back to him. Her captain’s mask was back in place. "We won’t be able to get away from the interruptions. You probably would like some time to think it over, in any case."

"No. I don’t need any more time. I accept."

She blinked. "You do?"

"Yes. My crew may not come around as quickly, but they will." He smiled at her. It probably would be wise to consider all the ramifications of her offer, to confer with Torres and Bendera, possibly even his spirit guide. But he knew in his heart that his answer would be the same in an hour, or in a day. "Give me an hour or so with them, then we’ll be ready to join the repair teams."

She leaned back, looking at him in bemusement. "Don’t misunderstand, I’m pleased with your decision, but I didn’t expect it so quickly. Are you certain? Because my last condition is this, Chakotay. This has to be a good faith effort by all of us. If you use this as an opportunity to move against me, I will space the lot of you without a second thought."

He grinned. "I don’t doubt it. I give you my word, no insurrections. From here on, I’ll do my best to be a good Exec for you. We’ll get this ship home again."

Janeway smiled warmly. It was the first real smile he had seen from her, and it transformed her. She extended her hand. "It’s a deal, Commander. I’ll have your commission and assignment logged within the hour."

He clasped her hand, shook it. "Thank you, Captain."

They stood, smiling at each other for a moment. Then the comm system sounded again. "Tuvok to Janeway."

"The duty roster for tomorrow should be posted before the end of this shift. Do you wish me to prepare it?"

"No, she said, eyeing Chakotay as if they shared a joke. "The First Officer will take care of it."

"I take it the offer has been accepted."

"Yes," Chakotay said. "It has."

"Then, welcome aboard, Commander. I should like to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss ship’s security."

"Understood," Chakotay translated the request to mean that Tuvok intended to make it clear that he would be monitoring all of the former Maquis closely. "As soon as repairs are complete, we’ll schedule some time."

"A back to work cue if ever I heard one," Janeway said as she began walking. This time he did not have to sprint to keep up with her. "There is one other thing," she added. "I intend to make Tom Paris our chief helmsman. Will that pose a problem?"

From her tone, he knew the answer she expected. Whatever his personal feelings about the pilot, as First Officer he had other concerns. "Not for me." He remembered something Paris said earlier, about tribal customs and saving lives. "And I’ll take personal responsibility for his safety with the Maquis. Tribal custom – he saved my life."

Clearly pleased, she nodded, Just before the door opened, she placed a hand on his forearm. "Chakotay. I want this uniform to mean something good to you again. Trust, perhaps. And honor."

It was a shot aimed at his soul, and it struck accurately. "Thank you, Captain," he said quietly.

They stepped into the corridor, ready to begin the journey home.

Home

Episode-Related Stories List